Never Hashed?

PCH3 Virgin, Hashers, Hash VirginAdvice for the First-Timer (Hash Virgin)

Well congratulations! You’re ready to try your first hash. We’ve all been there before, so here are some simple tips to help you prepare for your first hash.

You should be in decent shape – if you can’t WALK at least five miles you need to get in shape before trying a hash. These can be pretty exhausting to the unprepared!

Always bring a gym bag with a change of clothes – warm DRY shoes and DRY socks are worth their weight in gold after a couple of Dec-Feb river crossings. Sweats, gloves, dry shoes or flip flops – these are all gonna be your buddy dependent upon the weather.  Expect an outdoor ending – although we sometimes head inside to a warm bar – only silly folk expect things to go their way.

In the Summer, bring rubbing alcohol to get rid of poison ivy. Also bring a small towel to apply it without making a mess. Chap-stick & water bottle are always a good thing to have.

In Winter, sweats and/or tights will be your pal.  Hats except if called into circle… But don’t wear new running shoes no matter the season. Trust us. If you don’t believe us, just read the next paragraph….

DO NOT HASH IN NEW RUNNING SHOES – if you do, you’ll be chugging a beer out of them.

Speaking of which, during your 1st and, if you come back, every hash after, you can expect to take part in the down-down ceremony.  As a virgin you’ll be introduced to the pack, we’ll sing a raunchy song to ya, and then you’ll be expected to chug a beer or beverage. You can take as long as you like, but if that cup parts from your lips before you finish your beer, it gets dumped over your head.  Ya got that? OVER YOUR HEAD. That means you go home a sticky mess or smelling like a brewery. “What doesn’t go in ya, goes on ya”

Expect profanity, slang and made up words – lots of it. We all have to be nice and polite at work – this is when we make fun of one another and fart in each others general direction.  If this sort of behavior disgusts or offends you, tough titty – we ain’t changin’.  It always helps to have a good sense of humor as everything we do is meant in jest and to elitist laughter and to encourage shenanigans!

Trails are given a 1-5 shiggy level the higher the level the more you should expect mud, wetness, briers and obstacles to overc*m.  We plan trails every other Saturday, the occasional midweek trail, a camping trail now and then, and when the planets align we have been known to do a triple event!  Expect to get muddy during any season, cut by briers and understand that you can get hurt doing this.  Bones have been broken, ankles do occasionally get sprained, fingers get dislocated all of the time and egos can get bruised.  If you get hurt, it is your own damn fault, but we’ll do everything we can to help each other out.

A typical hash trail has us shuffling off for a 3-6 mile trail for between 75 to 120 minutes. Then we socialize over beer and munchies as the stragglers come in.   After the last hasher gets in the down-downs begin, and can take up to an hour to complete.   Then it is back to the cars and on to an optional post hash meal or general shenanigans called an “On-Ofter”.  If you do all of this, you could be home after 2AM. Skip the On-After, and you could  be home as early as 8PM.

All things during a trail are optional as we have no rules (only traditions)! Just know if you decide to skip things you may be called out in circle for a down-down or if truly heinous you may be voted on to carry the hash-sh*t a collection of trail treasure attached to a plunger on the next trail.


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